Those who have experienced 12-step recovery will be familiar with step 9, which involves the making of amends to anyone whom we have harmed in the past. We believe everyone deserves access to accurate, unbiased information about mental health and recovery. That’s why we have a comprehensive set of treatment providers and don’t charge for inclusion. One common challenge is being willing to accept the consequences of your actions. You should also keep in mind that not everyone may forgive you or accept your attempt to make amends and if they do, it may not happen right away.

• Many alcoholics in early sobriety struggle with how to make direct amends for certain offenses against others.
• Living amends is a concept linked to addiction recovery and part of the twelve-step program for sober living.
• When someone is alive and you’ve hurt them, amends are more straightforward.
• Instead, as you pursue a life in recovery, focus on being generous with your time and giving back to others.
• We’ve written about how common guilt is in grief (you wouldn’t believe how many people get the “coulda woulda shouldas”).
• It means mending, or (quite literally) fixing, the relationship.

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Thankfully we are given some insight in to how to make amends through steps 8 and 9. Working Step 9 is challenging and you’ll likely need support and assistance as you work through it. At Eudaimonia Recovery Homes, we provide personalized recovery support with comfortable sober living Austin, Houston, and Colorado Springs. However, these promises are usually the result of living amends deep feelings of shame, guilt, and regret and may not be genuine for some.

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Figure out ways to improve upon them, and tell your loved ones what you’re working on to help you improve. Ask for forgiveness.When asking for forgiveness, be authentic. Be willing to accept any consequences—no matter how severe. If the other person forgives but acts poorly, it’s okay to not reconcile. A few months back, she was traveling for an extended period of time.

• This term refers to your desire to change how you live and your behaviors to remain committed to living a sober lifestyle.
• I have a responsibility to parent him and speak out for his best interests.
• Making living amends is not just about apologizing to your friends and family.
• With all those articles (that you should go back and check out if you haven’t read them), it would be easy to assume we have said all there is to say.
• If you’re familiar with substance use recovery and 12-step programs, the idea of “living amends” might ring a bell.

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• Another example would be of a person who’s been a taker all their lives suddenly decides they no longer want to be self-centered and selfish.
• One of the best ways you can make long-lasting changes to your relationships is by being true to your word.

If you are unsure of how you should make amends in a certain situation, you can consult with your sponsor or counselor about it. He or she will have helpful advice and wisdom that may help you make the right decision on how to proceed. However, it is worth mentioning other types of recovery programs will also include the amends process at a specific point in your program. In simple terms, it means taking responsibility for the person you used to be and how you caused harm to the people in your life who care about you. It may be difficult to accept that you’re not always going to be able to make amends to people who you’ve wronged in some way. Some might be too tested by prior behaviors and actions that they simply need space.

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Individuals may uncover patterns that need to be addressed, paving the way for healthier relationships in the future. When someone struggles with addiction, they are not the only ones affected. Individuals battling substance abuse can become different versions of themselves and make decisions or behave in ways that hurt their loved ones. Addiction is often isolating, which can make quitting difficult. With proper treatment, individuals can become sober and turn their lives around.

Making Living Amends in 12 Step Recovery

We can also make amends by living very purposefully within the bounds of our principles. That is just one small example of what are living amends. Part of my living amends is also being the friend my friends deserve and the employee my employers hired in good faith. Living amends touches deep parts of our lives and souls if we allow them.

For Treatment Providers

It’s important to have a plan in place before we reach out. We can’t know for certain how another person will respond—or even how the interaction might affect us emotionally. So be sure to talk with your sponsor and/or support group about your plan in the event that you need support. If you promised your father to help him mow the lawn on Sundays, but years have passed, and you’ve never once shown up, start now. If you promised your son or daughter to be there to see them off to college, clean yourself up and show up.

What is making amends in addiction recovery?

For example, some people may require medically supervised detox as a first step, followed by residential alcohol treatment. The process of making amends often requires patience and understanding, both from the person making amends and those receiving them. It signifies a commitment to honesty, responsibility, and healing, moving towards a brighter future for both the individual in recovery and those they have harmed.

Or the people you need to apologize and make amends to are no longer living. Living amends, on the other hand, are a more subtle but equally important way to Sober living house make amends. It involves making changes to one’s behavior and lifestyle to demonstrate a commitment to personal growth and recovery. This might include seeking treatment for substance use disorders, attending support groups, or engaging in other forms of personal development.